Did you know that on the internet there are around 18 000 restaurants situated only in London? Of course, at least 1 000 of them are small buffets whose only visitors are people who live in the same building, another thousand may have already closed and another one just…are not restaurants under any criteria, But still, that leaves Londoners and tourists with roughly 15 000 restaurants to choose among! Some have different budgets, some live or stay in a different area and don’t walk around the whole capital when picking where to have dinner, but even if you devide the number by areas and price ranges, that still means that you, in particular, have more than 500 restaurants to choose from for tonight’s going out! I don’t think an year and a half is the period you should waste on trying out places so as to pick your favourites or at least the decent ones… I cannot provide you with a full list of adequate reviews for all of London’s restaurants but what I can do is at least help you rule out the disasterous ones. Speaking in numbers, 20% of London’s restaurants are worm holes which you do not wish to set your foot in. Of course this number of venues is huge; I could opt to tell you about the most critical ones but if I include in my list 10 restaurants you will still be facing a big chance of eating a cockroach tonight. This is why I have decided to include as many as possible of London’s most popular and disappointing restaurants – read carefully, remember names and stay aware of them.
Scotch Steak House
I honestly can’t believe someone would give that place the name ‘Steak House’. Fresh, tender and quality meat is harder to find than such corn for example and since this ‘restaurant’ could succeed in finding decent vegetables, I don’t know why they decided to brag with a name alluring meat eaters…Seriously, some shelters serve better meals to stray cats and dogs (not that this is bad). If you’re thinking of having a steak at this place, better commit a crime – jail food will please you way more. And as if that is not enough, Scotch Steak House’s prices are very far from what their products and service actually cost. Be sure the staff will inform you that the Card Payment Terminal is broken and you have to cough up cash – I leave you to investigate the reasons on your own…
Unfortunately, too many Londoners and voyagers still choose to eat at that place. At Il Padrino, you usually enter misguided by the impression of it being authentic and after all, it’s said to serve Italian food, so who would not be up for a traditional Italian dinner, right? Well, when you’re finally seated at a resemblance of a table you will surely notice the sour face expressions around you. This is not a coincidence; they’re sour for a reason. First off, Il Padrino’s food does not leave you under the impression that it has been cooked today; it is hard to chew, absolutely tasteless (if not worse) and looks as if someone ate half of it already and then returned it. Which is understandable. As if this is not enough to drive you far far away from this hole, the staff will do their best to succeed in the same task. Waiter are rude, they don’t even look at you when they’re taking an order, you will probably wait for one to notice more than 15 minutes and don’t be surprised if you see them pointing at you while chatting with a colleague or if you overhear something unpleasant about you and your table…
Zorba’s Greek Taverna
Even though this so called restaurant seems to be close to empty, if not empty at all, every time I walk by, regardless of the day and time. Yet, I still hear of many complaints and disappointed visitors and that’s why I should include it in my list. Zorba’s Greek Taverna is close to some hotels and always has place to seat those who can’t find places left in their favorite restaurants; moreover, it seems to be appealing with its Greek cuisine. Well, these three characteristics are completely not worth it; the place always has tables for a reason. The food offered is just awful, I’m not sure how to describe it but let’s say you won’t be very keen on eating anything in the next two weeks. But what is even more appalling is the service and hygiene. It seems that the owner is the only one who actually works at this tavern; he ‘welcomes’ you, he’s your waiter, your bartender and at the same time he cooks your meals. As you can imagine, a dinner at the Zorba’s is not a short experience…In some cases the owner obviously calls in a waitress who is supposed to help with service, but frankly, I think the place would be the same without her…You wait a long time for your drinks, a long time for your food, a long time for the check and most of those things you might not ever get. Which is very surprising considering that the taverna’s visitors are not more than 5 at any time. And about how filthy, dusty, covered with sticky oil and old the place is…I hope you’ll never get to see that for yourself.
Takari Indian Dining
Indian restaurants come in two types: unbelievably amazing and utterly disgusting. You already know under which category this one falls. The Takari Indian Dining misleads with some nice posters and photos and a full menu, but the food, and even drinks, they serve are tasteless – a better investment would be to shop for convenience food in Tesco…On top of that, orders are regularly wrong, they also arrive cold and chewing or even cutting them is a tremendous task. Don’t even think of making a home delivery order because in that case the meaning of cold food would reveal a whole new meaning…if you still remember you’ve ordered food, of course. With such quality food comes the nasty service too – nobody actually cares that you’re not eating what you ordered, that you’ve waited an hour for something or that your food is simply not fit for any use whatsoever. For the high prices you would pay at Takari Indian Dining you could go to any other place with decent menu, staff and atmosphere.
I might have just let you with the impression that the fore mentioned venue is the worst Indian restaurant in London. Well, it’s not. I cannot really choose the winner of this prize. Bollywood Brasserie, with its name resembling a headline of and adult movie, is quite a leader of the Society of Rubbish Indian Restaurants in London. As you can expect, any meal is completely bland, your stomach might get a bit full but still you won’t be aware that you’re actually eating. What strikes me most about Bollywood Brasserie is that they operate with a buffet. Yes, there is no point in looking at the menu because you can only choose among a couple of main dishes and slightly more starters which have already been prepared, who knows when…And for that pleasure you are paying £20 per head, how lovely. Now is the time to mention that Bollywood Brasserie not only rips you off for its rubbish food but demands 10% of your orders for service. Yes, the non-existent service on a buffet; this is just impudent. I don’t need to tell you about the condition in which this restaurant is – filth, stains, old furniture, dust, everything from the package…
This rather famous restaurant is one at very close proximity to Oxford Circus which is actually what makes it last that long. Maybe several decades ago Tinseltown lived up to customers’ expectations and offered at least something you would enjoy, but today, this is definitely not the case. Firstly, the place looks neglected and in desperate need of some refreshment, however, interior and hygiene are actually the best features of Tinseltown…From the moment you show up at the door to the moment you put your coat back on and leave for good, I guarantee you – not a soul would pay any attention to your presence. Nobody of the staff cares to welcome visitors and seat them; waiting 15 to 30 minutes standing in front of everybody (or else, outside in the rain) and then opting to persistently ask to be seated is a common scene in Tinseltown. So is not being served menus, orders not taken, food arriving cold, check delays (which often have to be paid in cash with no warning in advance) and what else not. In sum, the time you spend waiting for services equals around six times how much you spend actually eating. As if that is not enough, waiters don’t seem to mind being awful at their job and when they finally show up to serve you – they’re utterly rude and ignorant; and not always speak English. Add to all of this the awful quality and tell me what’s left of this restaurant…The only situation in which Tinseltown is acceptable is if you’ve bought plenty of products but your kitchen is unavailable – you could go seat yourself, prepare your own food with your own ingredients and have dinner there; I doubt anyone would notice you shouldn’t be doing this.
And the last place I decided to include in this list, although many more should have made it, is Sushi Mania. You wouldn’t expect a Bad Restaurants review to go without any Japanese food, right? Sushi Mania attract customers all over London; tourists, locals, sushi lovers and eager beginners and they disappoints all. Usually Sushi Mania allures with signs ‘Eat as much as you can’’ for low prices and accompanied by photos of well-presented food. However, when you go in and decide to try their offer you find yourself being served a plate of a few tiny bites. Firstly, the food tastes as if it has just been taken out of the freezer and poured in on your table with no additional preparation; this is not by far any authentic sushi. Secondly, no normal person can suffice with such small portions. And what is personally my favorite part is that the ‘’all you can eat’’ price is just a joke – you will be charged at least double for your meal and I can’t even explain to you why; it seems to me that aside from the menu being not clear at all, the restaurant has a ton of policies which basically mean ‘you will be charged £8-15 additionally for whatever you do’…And on top of that, all waitresses are completely ignorant, uninterested in what is going on around them and this is to be expected as their manager is no better. There are plenty of better sushi restaurants around London – go for them.
These 7 restaurants in the capital are only a tiny sample of the awful places one might find themselves. Still, I hope I have covered the most visited ones of them so that the number of unlucky customers might decrease a bit. If you feel anxious whether you’ll find a nice place in London to eat, check out the capital’s masterpieces – London’s Best Restaurants!